Learning the difference between foods

The past few days I have been making a lot of cookies and brownies. My kids have enjoyed licking the batter off of the spoon. My Abby especially liked the brownie batter. She kept sneaking tastes out of the bowl. Unfortunately she is still too young to differentiate between  visually similar substances. This recently got her in trouble. She saw a baking pan with a brown, thick liquid at the bottom. Thinking she was sneaky, she stood on her tip toes and dipped her finger into the gooey mess. I see her out of the corner of my eye and turn towards her, but the words come out of my mouth too late. Seeing she's been caught she quickly sticks her fingers in her mouth and eats the presumably sweet batter.
It was not batter.
It was in fact the grease dripping from that night's steak dinner. Congealed on the aluminum foil, I had left it to thicken for easier clean up.
Abigail is now more cautious about putting random food in her mouth. Unfortunately, she sometimes develops a taste for strange things. All day long I have been taking birthday candles out if her mouth. Halfway chewed, pieces stuck in her teeth, she has gone through 5 so far. Why she prefers candles to lunch today is beyond my comprehension, but  she is determined. I'll tell you what, though. She makes diaper changes interesting. Ya never know what you're going to find.

Parenthood

Parenthood is not what I expected. Honestly, I should have known better. When books, TV, and the old lady you sit next to in church tell you is wonderful and life-changing, but the mom of 3 next door looks haggard and worn, a big red flag should be seen, complete with flashing lights. It's life- changing alright, but not always so wonderful. This is not to imply that children are terrible creatures (at least, not all of the time), but they are NOT the little angels they are made out to be. I tend to see children as wild tigers. Beautiful and fearsome, all at once. Definitely forces with whom to be reckoned. Now, if this was the concept broadcast to all bright- eyed couples wanting a baby, I have a feeling that birth control sales would skyrocket and our population would be greatly diminished. I have seen many soon-to-be parents smile smugly as they proclaim that THEIR child would never behave as disgracefully as the child in the grocery store throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle or check out lane (it's always those two places, isn't it?). These soon-to-be moms and dads truly believe that THEIR child is a piece of precious clay, ready to be molded to the parents' idea of perfection. What a wonderful, comforting idea. I liken it to the idea of a cheesecake that makes you lose weight. Nice to think about, but never gonna happen. But these parents are so happy believing that their child will be different, so why spoil it for them? They're not hurting anyone with their self-deceit, and their belief that their child will be perfect helps the sleepless night seem more bearable. They will find out in time. And when the shrouds of unrealistic preconceptions fall, there will be enough good memories of sweet squishy babies to prevent them from duct taping their "angel" to the wall (hopefully).

If you are already a parent and know exactly what I'm talking about, then you might have realized that, on those difficult days, reading about someone else's parenting woes can lighten your own. I'm here to help with that. I'm a stay at home mother of four, and every day seems to bring a new disaster. These disasters are usually at the hands of my third child, Abby. While I've compared most children to tigers, she's something else entirely. Pretty as a sunset, quick as lightning, smart at Einstein, and destructive as a typhoon. She will undoubtedly star in most if my stories.

Welcome to my life. Cringe at my tales, laugh at my expense, and empathize when you've been unfortunate enough to experience the same disasters as I have. Above all, enjoy yourself. Because as you've focused on reading this, one of your children has taken the opportunity to wreak havoc. Never a dull moment, huh?