Thursday, July 23, 2015
Wild Child
Last night my wild child, AB, unleashed hell upon our home. She grabbed all of the junk food out of our cupboards and fridge and snuck them to quiet corners to snack without being disturbed. Later she somehow got the scissors we keep in a high cupboard and ::cringe:: cut her sisters hair. Not just a lock, no. She cut a large section out of the back. Her beautiful curls 😠After being reprimanded and me amazingly not losing my temper, she found my makeup. Now, in my makeup drawer I have facial glitter I've saved since 7th grade. Glitter meant to stick to skin all day. Good stuff. I thought my 7 year old, AJ, would like it. AB opened it all and added it to my makeup and moisturizer. All of it. Now if I put any of my makeup on I'm going to look like I just came back from a shift at a strip club. Along with this fabulous addition, she did her younger sister, HG's, makeup. Waterproof mascara everywhere. Lipstick covering the bottom part of the face. Shirts ruined. It was a disaster. Now I need to find a new hiding place for my beauty supplies. And scissors. And maybe a hiding place for me as well.
Busy Getting Nothing Done
My life feels crazy and incredibly dull at the same time. On the crazy side, I have 4 kids, 2 of whom stay home with me while the older 2 are in school. During the day my husband, younger 2 kids, and myself are at my parent's house taking care of my grandmother who has Alzheimer's. We also recently switched to a vegan lifestyle and I'm in WAY over my head trying to find meals for my picky family to eat. Lastly, I'm desperately searching for a career that I will love that I can begin once my youngest is in school.
On the dull side, I feel like I accomplish absolutely nothing each day. My house is a mess, and messes stress me out. I spend my energy keeping my parents house clean so when I get home my energy is gone. Laundry piles up, quite literally. I had a pile of towels and blankets over 4 feet tall (thank you large puppy that refuses to be house broken). Speaking of puppy, we have 4 dogs and 2 pet rats. I have a masochistic addiction to caregiving. This is probably why I'm so eager to enter the work force...as a teacher or counselor or social worker.... And so my addiction cycle remains unbroken. I know I can't be the only person like this out there. There must be other people who struggle just as much as I do, but it's so hard to connect to them because we are all so busy! Let me tell you, if it wasn't for Jesus, caffeine, and wine I would be a crazy lady. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe there's an easier way. If anyone has any ideas, please share them. I'm woman enough to admit I'm lost.
On the dull side, I feel like I accomplish absolutely nothing each day. My house is a mess, and messes stress me out. I spend my energy keeping my parents house clean so when I get home my energy is gone. Laundry piles up, quite literally. I had a pile of towels and blankets over 4 feet tall (thank you large puppy that refuses to be house broken). Speaking of puppy, we have 4 dogs and 2 pet rats. I have a masochistic addiction to caregiving. This is probably why I'm so eager to enter the work force...as a teacher or counselor or social worker.... And so my addiction cycle remains unbroken. I know I can't be the only person like this out there. There must be other people who struggle just as much as I do, but it's so hard to connect to them because we are all so busy! Let me tell you, if it wasn't for Jesus, caffeine, and wine I would be a crazy lady. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe there's an easier way. If anyone has any ideas, please share them. I'm woman enough to admit I'm lost.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Where is the time?
A year has almost elapsed since my last post. I blame the kids and their insistence that I parent them. Crazy, huh? A lot has changed in a year. We live in a new house, I've attempted home schooling, my younger two are about to start home schooling, I've gone to college, and about a million little things that take up huge portions of life but somehow fall in between the cracks of my memory. How do we spend so much time doing things we don't even remember? A year is all it takes to forget 90% of your life.... I've made it my mission to start doing more things that I will remember. I'm not going to remember the three hours I spent binge watching tv shows on Netflix. Or the eight hours I spent surfing Pinterest (don't judge, you know you do it too). Although to be fair, everything I cook I found on Pinterest along with all of my homemade cleaning supplies. Still, there are better memories to be made. Like playing super heroes with my kids, or making messes with them. Time to get my priorities back on track. I made a list of things to remember, and hung it up on the wall opposite the couch so, when in wasting time, I can see it staring at me. I titled it Mommy Reminders and it says the following: They are only children; have realistic expectations. Never discipline when angry. Let my children be my entertainment. What I say to my kids will be what they hear in their heads. My only job is being a good parent. Nothing else is as important as this." My life will be directed by these mommy reminders, and hopefully I'll stop living life for my enjoyment and start living for their betterment.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Learning the difference between foods
The past few days I have been making a lot of cookies and brownies. My kids have enjoyed licking the batter off of the spoon. My Abby especially liked the brownie batter. She kept sneaking tastes out of the bowl. Unfortunately she is still too young to differentiate between visually similar substances. This recently got her in trouble. She saw a baking pan with a brown, thick liquid at the bottom. Thinking she was sneaky, she stood on her tip toes and dipped her finger into the gooey mess. I see her out of the corner of my eye and turn towards her, but the words come out of my mouth too late. Seeing she's been caught she quickly sticks her fingers in her mouth and eats the presumably sweet batter.
It was not batter.
It was in fact the grease dripping from that night's steak dinner. Congealed on the aluminum foil, I had left it to thicken for easier clean up.
Abigail is now more cautious about putting random food in her mouth. Unfortunately, she sometimes develops a taste for strange things. All day long I have been taking birthday candles out if her mouth. Halfway chewed, pieces stuck in her teeth, she has gone through 5 so far. Why she prefers candles to lunch today is beyond my comprehension, but she is determined. I'll tell you what, though. She makes diaper changes interesting. Ya never know what you're going to find.
It was not batter.
It was in fact the grease dripping from that night's steak dinner. Congealed on the aluminum foil, I had left it to thicken for easier clean up.
Abigail is now more cautious about putting random food in her mouth. Unfortunately, she sometimes develops a taste for strange things. All day long I have been taking birthday candles out if her mouth. Halfway chewed, pieces stuck in her teeth, she has gone through 5 so far. Why she prefers candles to lunch today is beyond my comprehension, but she is determined. I'll tell you what, though. She makes diaper changes interesting. Ya never know what you're going to find.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Parenthood
Parenthood is not what I expected. Honestly, I should have known better. When books, TV, and the old lady you sit next to in church tell you is wonderful and life-changing, but the mom of 3 next door looks haggard and worn, a big red flag should be seen, complete with flashing lights. It's life- changing alright, but not always so wonderful. This is not to imply that children are terrible creatures (at least, not all of the time), but they are NOT the little angels they are made out to be. I tend to see children as wild tigers. Beautiful and fearsome, all at once. Definitely forces with whom to be reckoned. Now, if this was the concept broadcast to all bright- eyed couples wanting a baby, I have a feeling that birth control sales would skyrocket and our population would be greatly diminished. I have seen many soon-to-be parents smile smugly as they proclaim that THEIR child would never behave as disgracefully as the child in the grocery store throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle or check out lane (it's always those two places, isn't it?). These soon-to-be moms and dads truly believe that THEIR child is a piece of precious clay, ready to be molded to the parents' idea of perfection. What a wonderful, comforting idea. I liken it to the idea of a cheesecake that makes you lose weight. Nice to think about, but never gonna happen. But these parents are so happy believing that their child will be different, so why spoil it for them? They're not hurting anyone with their self-deceit, and their belief that their child will be perfect helps the sleepless night seem more bearable. They will find out in time. And when the shrouds of unrealistic preconceptions fall, there will be enough good memories of sweet squishy babies to prevent them from duct taping their "angel" to the wall (hopefully).
If you are already a parent and know exactly what I'm talking about, then you might have realized that, on those difficult days, reading about someone else's parenting woes can lighten your own. I'm here to help with that. I'm a stay at home mother of four, and every day seems to bring a new disaster. These disasters are usually at the hands of my third child, Abby. While I've compared most children to tigers, she's something else entirely. Pretty as a sunset, quick as lightning, smart at Einstein, and destructive as a typhoon. She will undoubtedly star in most if my stories.
Welcome to my life. Cringe at my tales, laugh at my expense, and empathize when you've been unfortunate enough to experience the same disasters as I have. Above all, enjoy yourself. Because as you've focused on reading this, one of your children has taken the opportunity to wreak havoc. Never a dull moment, huh?
If you are already a parent and know exactly what I'm talking about, then you might have realized that, on those difficult days, reading about someone else's parenting woes can lighten your own. I'm here to help with that. I'm a stay at home mother of four, and every day seems to bring a new disaster. These disasters are usually at the hands of my third child, Abby. While I've compared most children to tigers, she's something else entirely. Pretty as a sunset, quick as lightning, smart at Einstein, and destructive as a typhoon. She will undoubtedly star in most if my stories.
Welcome to my life. Cringe at my tales, laugh at my expense, and empathize when you've been unfortunate enough to experience the same disasters as I have. Above all, enjoy yourself. Because as you've focused on reading this, one of your children has taken the opportunity to wreak havoc. Never a dull moment, huh?
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Praying For Patience
On some days I think I have the patience of a saint. No matter what the kids do, what they spill, or break, or say, I keep calm. I smile and use the quiet but assertive tone that says "I love you and you can trust me to know what's best for you". When that happens I usually see the kids respond in amazing ways that make me think I could have 5 more kids and be just fine. They are a source of joy for me.
Then I have days like today. I woke up already slightly irritated (and sleep deprived) and the kids seemed to wake up the same way. The whining started as soon as their feet hit the floor and before I had coffee and read my Bible. By the end of the day I just wanted to hide in my closet and hope my husband took over before I started crying in front of the kids (he did, bless that man). Not the kind of day I'm proud of.
I want to be around my children and not secretly be thinking about what else I could be doing. I want to listen to them and give them my full attention. I long to listen eagerly while they tell me about what is happening in a make believe game they are playing. I want to play with them gladly and not see it as a huge chore. I want to cherish every minute of their youth and know they feel valued. I want to do the opposite of what I have been doing.
Yesterday was the exact opposite from today. I played with my daughters and gave them my full attention (my son was with his biological mother). That afternoon my mother took Aurora while Abby napped and I got A TON of cleaning and organizing done. The night before I had cleaned as well as shampooed my carpet in the living room. I stayed calm when the kids became disobedient or emotional and ended the day joyful.
Yesterday I felt like super-mommy. Today I feel like a failure. It's nice to know I'm neither.
For some reason I always forget that, during the tough times, you can pray to God for patience and He will answer you. We were not meant to parent using our skills alone. God is the ultimate Father. He gave us our children; He will help us raise them. He answers our questions and gives us the tools necessary to raise up our children in Him. None of us are perfect so when we try to do something on our own we almost always fail. Why is it so many mothers think the scripture, "Apart from God we can do nothing (John 15:5)" does not apply to parenting? Because of this, I am revising my beginning steps to becoming a super-mommy.
Super-mommy Steps (Revised):
1) Seek God in everything
2) Stop obsessing about cleaning
3) Play with my kids
4) Stop getting mad at my kids
Today has humbled me, but I feel encouraged (kind of) in that even at my worst my kids still long to be around me and tell me they love me. They are so wonderful and full of Christ-like love that when I fall off the "horse" I want to get back up for them. In an attempt to have someone hold me accountable and at the same time help me I am looking for a mentor. A married Christian woman with a large family who follows the traditional values I hold. A woman who is older than me and more successful at homemaking than I am. I know God will lead me to her, and I can only hope she's patient enough to deal with me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
Then I have days like today. I woke up already slightly irritated (and sleep deprived) and the kids seemed to wake up the same way. The whining started as soon as their feet hit the floor and before I had coffee and read my Bible. By the end of the day I just wanted to hide in my closet and hope my husband took over before I started crying in front of the kids (he did, bless that man). Not the kind of day I'm proud of.
I want to be around my children and not secretly be thinking about what else I could be doing. I want to listen to them and give them my full attention. I long to listen eagerly while they tell me about what is happening in a make believe game they are playing. I want to play with them gladly and not see it as a huge chore. I want to cherish every minute of their youth and know they feel valued. I want to do the opposite of what I have been doing.
Yesterday was the exact opposite from today. I played with my daughters and gave them my full attention (my son was with his biological mother). That afternoon my mother took Aurora while Abby napped and I got A TON of cleaning and organizing done. The night before I had cleaned as well as shampooed my carpet in the living room. I stayed calm when the kids became disobedient or emotional and ended the day joyful.
Yesterday I felt like super-mommy. Today I feel like a failure. It's nice to know I'm neither.
For some reason I always forget that, during the tough times, you can pray to God for patience and He will answer you. We were not meant to parent using our skills alone. God is the ultimate Father. He gave us our children; He will help us raise them. He answers our questions and gives us the tools necessary to raise up our children in Him. None of us are perfect so when we try to do something on our own we almost always fail. Why is it so many mothers think the scripture, "Apart from God we can do nothing (John 15:5)" does not apply to parenting? Because of this, I am revising my beginning steps to becoming a super-mommy.
Super-mommy Steps (Revised):
1) Seek God in everything
2) Stop obsessing about cleaning
3) Play with my kids
4) Stop getting mad at my kids
Today has humbled me, but I feel encouraged (kind of) in that even at my worst my kids still long to be around me and tell me they love me. They are so wonderful and full of Christ-like love that when I fall off the "horse" I want to get back up for them. In an attempt to have someone hold me accountable and at the same time help me I am looking for a mentor. A married Christian woman with a large family who follows the traditional values I hold. A woman who is older than me and more successful at homemaking than I am. I know God will lead me to her, and I can only hope she's patient enough to deal with me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Pool Fun
I definitely made progress today! I would call it a 90% success. The kids behaved wonderfully...for the most part. A little bit of whining towards the end of the day, but that's to be expected with a 4 and 5 year old. We started the day with a breakfast of their choice and devotionals. I cuddled my kids while we watched movies, sat with Chris while he played Mario Kart (I'm still not asked to play), played My Little Ponies/stuffed animals with Aurora, cuddled and played with Abby, and at no point did I clean besides a quick pick-up that took maybe 4 minutes. I did not even touch my kitchen post-dinner until after they went to bed. I made sure I made my time about them. Around 3pm the kids asked to play in the blow up swimming pool we bought them yesterday. Usually I would have said no without hesitation. It's summer in central Texas...it's reeeally hot. Instead I told them to give me a minute while I thought about it. I asked myself what good reason I had for saying "no" besides me just not wanting to go outside. I came up with nothing. So I told them to get their bathing suits while Daddy and I blew up the pool.
Here I need to interject something. The makers of these rather large blow up pools need to come up with some inexpensive air pump that does it for you. We tried blowing up this pool ourselves and were quickly out of breath with almost nothing to show for it. We used a hand-held air pump that did absolutely no good. If it wasn't for our amazingly awesome neighbors lending us their tire air pump thing we would probably have spent a good three hours blowing up the pool via lung power.
The kids had a blast in that pool even though it was in the low 100's and we had no shade (I made sure to lather them in sunscreen). They had water gun fights, jumped up and down to make big splashes, and towards the end my husband decided to join them even though he was still in his normal clothes. I would have loved to join but I was holding Abby, our 1 year old, and she hates the water. She was sprayed with a water gun (it barely got her wet) and she immediately started to cry. So for today I enjoyed their happiness and contagious laughter from 10 feet away. Next time we do this I hope to put Abby down for a nap so I can join in the fun! The kids will definitely remember today.
The reason I call today a 90% success is because yesterday I told myself I would not get on my iPad unless the kids were not wanting my attention. When I first got on my iPad to read my favorite blog today the kids were busy. Aurora was watching a movie on Netflix, Chris was playing the Wii, and Abby was asleep. I wasn't breaking my rules. Well, after about 20 minutes I was really into the blog post and Aurora decides she wants my attention. Reverting to bad habits I either half-listened to her or told her to wait while Mommy finished reading. Once I realized I was doing this (about 15 minutes later) I got off of the iPad and focused on the kids again. A small slip-up, but one that I at least caught and corrected.
I plan to continue putting my kids desires before my own, but I also want to add something more to my super-mommy list for tomorrow. I want to stop getting mad at my children. Kids make mistakes, that's part of growing up and learning right from wrong. If they never did anything wrong, well, they wouldn't be human. So why am I always surprised when they do something they're not supposed to? Correction and appropriate discipline are necessary, but I don't need to become upset. They respond better to a calm, patient, rational response anyway. Anger and frustration are selfish responses, portraying myself and flawless and them as flawed. I don't want them to get that impression at all. I'm not perfect, and they're not expected to be perfect. We only gain perfection through Jesus Christ.
Thank you, Jesus, for today and the improvements I am making for my children.
Super-mommy Steps:
1) Stop obsessing about cleaning
2) Play with my kids
3) Stop getting mad at my kids
Ok, one thing I have to brag on. Today while the kids were playing in the pool Chris told Jordan and I that he wanted to get baptized. At first I didn't think he was serious because I was recently baptized in a swimming pool and figured he was just wanting to mimic me. His comment stayed with me, though, so I asked him later why he wanted to be baptized. He said, "Because I love God and want to be with Him forever". Aw! He then melted my heart when he asked me to be the one to do it. Absolutely! I am so proud of my little boy. He has such a good heart and loves to pray. In the past I would have said that 5 years old is too young to know what it means to give your life to God. With Chris, though, he knows what living like Jesus means and talks about it all the time. He knows what he's doing :) My little boy is growing up.
Here I need to interject something. The makers of these rather large blow up pools need to come up with some inexpensive air pump that does it for you. We tried blowing up this pool ourselves and were quickly out of breath with almost nothing to show for it. We used a hand-held air pump that did absolutely no good. If it wasn't for our amazingly awesome neighbors lending us their tire air pump thing we would probably have spent a good three hours blowing up the pool via lung power.
The kids had a blast in that pool even though it was in the low 100's and we had no shade (I made sure to lather them in sunscreen). They had water gun fights, jumped up and down to make big splashes, and towards the end my husband decided to join them even though he was still in his normal clothes. I would have loved to join but I was holding Abby, our 1 year old, and she hates the water. She was sprayed with a water gun (it barely got her wet) and she immediately started to cry. So for today I enjoyed their happiness and contagious laughter from 10 feet away. Next time we do this I hope to put Abby down for a nap so I can join in the fun! The kids will definitely remember today.
The reason I call today a 90% success is because yesterday I told myself I would not get on my iPad unless the kids were not wanting my attention. When I first got on my iPad to read my favorite blog today the kids were busy. Aurora was watching a movie on Netflix, Chris was playing the Wii, and Abby was asleep. I wasn't breaking my rules. Well, after about 20 minutes I was really into the blog post and Aurora decides she wants my attention. Reverting to bad habits I either half-listened to her or told her to wait while Mommy finished reading. Once I realized I was doing this (about 15 minutes later) I got off of the iPad and focused on the kids again. A small slip-up, but one that I at least caught and corrected.
I plan to continue putting my kids desires before my own, but I also want to add something more to my super-mommy list for tomorrow. I want to stop getting mad at my children. Kids make mistakes, that's part of growing up and learning right from wrong. If they never did anything wrong, well, they wouldn't be human. So why am I always surprised when they do something they're not supposed to? Correction and appropriate discipline are necessary, but I don't need to become upset. They respond better to a calm, patient, rational response anyway. Anger and frustration are selfish responses, portraying myself and flawless and them as flawed. I don't want them to get that impression at all. I'm not perfect, and they're not expected to be perfect. We only gain perfection through Jesus Christ.
Thank you, Jesus, for today and the improvements I am making for my children.
Super-mommy Steps:
1) Stop obsessing about cleaning
2) Play with my kids
3) Stop getting mad at my kids
Ok, one thing I have to brag on. Today while the kids were playing in the pool Chris told Jordan and I that he wanted to get baptized. At first I didn't think he was serious because I was recently baptized in a swimming pool and figured he was just wanting to mimic me. His comment stayed with me, though, so I asked him later why he wanted to be baptized. He said, "Because I love God and want to be with Him forever". Aw! He then melted my heart when he asked me to be the one to do it. Absolutely! I am so proud of my little boy. He has such a good heart and loves to pray. In the past I would have said that 5 years old is too young to know what it means to give your life to God. With Chris, though, he knows what living like Jesus means and talks about it all the time. He knows what he's doing :) My little boy is growing up.
Jordan, Aurora and Chris enjoying the pool.
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